I wish I could put into words how good our God is, but honestly there are no words. Nothing in the English language or human speech in general that can do God justice in fully describing His greatness.

I have been around the world and it never fails God meets me right where I am at. He is faithful in everything. When the harsh winds of the world start to billow and blow He is our refuge, our strong tower and our very help in time of need. I don't have to fight, it is my job to surrender and the King's pleasure to fight and to protect me.

There is so much bubbling up inside of me at this moment my spirit can hardly contain it. When I think over the last year of my life I can't help but laugh. Every year gets better, sweeter and I am constantly falling more in love with the King of kings.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8

This verse was on my parent's front door for months in the shape of an ice cream cone. Every time I would go and see them I would see it and giggle, thinking of the truth behind that statement. "Taste and see that the Lord is good" not many people think of the taste of life but it is there, life can be sweet, life can be bitter but a life in the Lord is ALWAYS tastes good. The latter half of that verse is rarely spoken, "How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him" these words become truer and truer to me with every passing day. I don't care what kind of storm is brewing as long as I am in the refuge of my Father, all is well. He is faithful and good always.

Letting Go

Blogs to me are a very humorous thing. Especially when you blog as often as me. By just briefly looking over the few posts I have made I can see a change in me. I can see areas God has been working on in me since the beginning. I always seem to think that one day I will get better at this and post on a regular basis. That I will start to open up in a more public forum. Who knows, maybe one day I will but right now I just don't know...

Have you ever had one of those weeks that just knocked it out of you? Have you ever looked back at it and see that you actually asked for it? This past week was that for me. I know it sounds strange but that is what happened. On the 16th I was sitting in a worship service crying out to God to train my ear to hear is voice more clearly than before and the following 4 days were Him talking and me fighting. It sounds foolish and well it is. Why would I think it is okay to fight God on what He is saying? To tell Him, "No. I don't like that answer. Can you please try again?" I realize how crazy it sounds but that is exactly what I did. I had never seen my own stubbornness so intensely before. I had never realized how much fear there actually was in my heart. I figured since I was confident to travel alone to places most people wouldn't dare go to that there was no fear remaining in me. Man, was I wrong.

My fear was not of going somewhere, dying or being alone. On the contrary my fear was of letting go of my independence and allowing myself to need someone else. Someone to depend on and trust in. I could say sure I trust God but have I fully relinquished all of me to Him? Have I said to God, "Here You can have it ALL. Even my right to do it all alone." and then actually lived out the words I spoke?

I am not sure how to do just that. To fully give it all to God. It seems far from possible and completely against everything we know as human beings. Lord, show me how. Train me. Teach me. I do want to hear the words You have for me. Help me to live by them and not idly sit by.