I wish I could put into words how good our God is, but honestly there are no words. Nothing in the English language or human speech in general that can do God justice in fully describing His greatness.

I have been around the world and it never fails God meets me right where I am at. He is faithful in everything. When the harsh winds of the world start to billow and blow He is our refuge, our strong tower and our very help in time of need. I don't have to fight, it is my job to surrender and the King's pleasure to fight and to protect me.

There is so much bubbling up inside of me at this moment my spirit can hardly contain it. When I think over the last year of my life I can't help but laugh. Every year gets better, sweeter and I am constantly falling more in love with the King of kings.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good. How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8

This verse was on my parent's front door for months in the shape of an ice cream cone. Every time I would go and see them I would see it and giggle, thinking of the truth behind that statement. "Taste and see that the Lord is good" not many people think of the taste of life but it is there, life can be sweet, life can be bitter but a life in the Lord is ALWAYS tastes good. The latter half of that verse is rarely spoken, "How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him" these words become truer and truer to me with every passing day. I don't care what kind of storm is brewing as long as I am in the refuge of my Father, all is well. He is faithful and good always.

Letting Go

Blogs to me are a very humorous thing. Especially when you blog as often as me. By just briefly looking over the few posts I have made I can see a change in me. I can see areas God has been working on in me since the beginning. I always seem to think that one day I will get better at this and post on a regular basis. That I will start to open up in a more public forum. Who knows, maybe one day I will but right now I just don't know...

Have you ever had one of those weeks that just knocked it out of you? Have you ever looked back at it and see that you actually asked for it? This past week was that for me. I know it sounds strange but that is what happened. On the 16th I was sitting in a worship service crying out to God to train my ear to hear is voice more clearly than before and the following 4 days were Him talking and me fighting. It sounds foolish and well it is. Why would I think it is okay to fight God on what He is saying? To tell Him, "No. I don't like that answer. Can you please try again?" I realize how crazy it sounds but that is exactly what I did. I had never seen my own stubbornness so intensely before. I had never realized how much fear there actually was in my heart. I figured since I was confident to travel alone to places most people wouldn't dare go to that there was no fear remaining in me. Man, was I wrong.

My fear was not of going somewhere, dying or being alone. On the contrary my fear was of letting go of my independence and allowing myself to need someone else. Someone to depend on and trust in. I could say sure I trust God but have I fully relinquished all of me to Him? Have I said to God, "Here You can have it ALL. Even my right to do it all alone." and then actually lived out the words I spoke?

I am not sure how to do just that. To fully give it all to God. It seems far from possible and completely against everything we know as human beings. Lord, show me how. Train me. Teach me. I do want to hear the words You have for me. Help me to live by them and not idly sit by.

Life . . . an insane one at that

Life has been anything BUT normal this last little while. I have been stretched in so many ways it is ridiculous and I am honestly surprised I have not snapped in two. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change the last few months of my life for anything, well except how I have responded to a few things maybe. Since I turned 20 I have been in New Zealand, India, Turkey and now Tunis doing what I love but it is not coming as easy as I had hoped. I knew that this life style would cost me something, who would have guessed it would be my sanity?

India - was INCREDIBLE! I can't even begin to say how great it was. We started out so strong; first with our time in Greater Noida soaking in the Father's presence and speaking truth out and then Jaipur working with amazing kids and loving on the "untouchables". This is a life I could get use to. Those kids made my world vibrant. As much as I loved my comfy life in New Zealand or even back home for that matter nothing can compare to India. Things that may make some people squirm get me excited and ready for more. I know for sure that I left a big chunk of my heart in that wonderful land.

The song "I Left my Heart in San Francisco" never made so much sense.

Turkey - "Istanbul was Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople" confusing, eh? Words can not describe my time there but confusion seemed to be a given. I had some of my lowest lows and some of my highest highs in this great historical country. I know that the Father has a reason for leaving us in Turkey for nearly a month. I know that it was a time of refining me and in years to come I will begin to see the fruits to my labor. Tears flowed for me in Turkey (it was weird) and not because I was sad to leave or that my heart was breaking for the people but instead because I was broken; in my brokenness I gave space to Daddy to do His will in my life which may be the best things about our time. I also had some amazing high lights in Turkey, such as time in Ephes and the town of Selcuk where I was able to share my faith with multiple store owners in my time off.

Tunis - has been wonderful. Hanen, our contact, has been whipping us into shape and I absolutely adore her for it, along with about a thousand other reasons. I have not felt this useful since India, it is nice to feel like you are having an impact even if it is something miniscule. I have not been a fan of the attention I seem to be getting off the streets and it has been a long time since I have felt like decking someone so badly. Yes, I know that it is not the most gentle response but having guys saying, "Bonjour!" in your face every 10 seconds get aggravating.

When I sit down to write about my life I don't have any major complaints as much as I feel like I have the right to fuss I realize that in comparison my life is much sweeter than most. I am chosen and loved by the King of Kings. He calls me daughter and I call Him, Abba. My life is pretty great. I am blessed beyond belief. I pray that I never lose this perspective. I have no reason to complain and when I think I do I need to stop and count my blessings, that will keep me busy for a while.

One Week Left in Oxford, New Zealand

Holy Cow! It is almost done, well the lecture phase atleast. We only have a week left here on base before our school splits into six teams that are going to invade the world with the Father's love. My team is off to India to start, 3 weeks in India! Should be pretty sweet. I am looking forward to the change in temperature, it snowed here in Oxford today. Snow, can you believe it?! Snow in May! I am 6 days away from my birthday and there is snow! Craziness!

I am completely blown away by all the changes in my life. I am truly not the same person I was when I left Texas in February. My heart is different, softer and more open. Ready to face this great big world without running and hiding. God is bigger than it ALL! No man can hold me back any longer, there is no fear here. I am eager to see where it is God is going to take me next but I have decided to just enjoy the ride at hand. So far it has been quite eventful and fun.

Continue to keep us in your prayers. Life is by no means easy for us here in New Zealand. Some of my friends aren't even sure if they are going to be able to go on outreach because of lack of finaces. I pray this does not happen. Our Father is bigger than any dollar amount so I am trusting for a miracle and I am asking you to do the same. Thank you all for your support!

Heaps of Love from the South Island!

2 months in to DTS

Hello Everyone! Greetings from the South Island! I pray you are well and loving life wherever you are.

These last two months have been a whirl wind of an adventure and I will try my hardest to share my heart as well as keep it brief. People, we serve a BIG God...and that is an understatement. Over the last 8 weeks I have been through a roller coaster of emotions and I can't even describe it in a way where it will make sense.

The lectures I have sat through have been inspiring, challenging, aggressive and sweet. Each speaker with their own unique style sharing what it is God wants for each of us. I have dealt with a number of heart issues I didn't even realize I had and I can honestly say that God has been restoring me piece by piece. I feel incredibly blessed to have had this time to deal with me before I go out and serve.

Once a week we go into Christchurch and do ministry of different kinds. We have this awesome music/stomp team where people come out to listen and dance in the town square. We also have a prostitute ministry team where people go and do prayer walks up and down the main streets where prostitution happens, as well as work at a shelter set up for the prostitutes. We also have an art team, a mobile team, a sports team and a rock climbing gym team. I typically stick to the first two and absolutely love it.

Last week was faith week. Pretty much that means we go out in teams of three with $20 a piece and pray that God provides. You know what, He does! We had food to eat every day and had a place indoors to sleep 6 out of the 7 nights. Our whole school had so many amazing stories and I just love that we serve a living active God who cares about our every need. It was insane 21 of us (7 teams) ended up at one house in Queenstown for a couple of days, serving their amazing church. ( www.ontherock.org ) Another team ended up on the north island. Yep, God is cool.

This week has been one of overload. We have a ton going on and there is so much for me to do but here I sit writing and trying to upload pictures. Please be praying for me and the school as a whole. I am still trusting for finances for myself as well as classmates here. On top of that there is stuff going on back home that could really use another coat of prayer. Jamie, my sister in law's dad has had a relapse in his leukemia PLEASE be praying for him (Alan Eakins) as well as strength for my sister.

Thank you for all of your support. Heaps of Love from the land of sheep!

Lauren Ashley Fabel

Today-25 October 2008

Today was one of the greatest days I have had in a really long time and I was babysitting for most of it. Kids can have a strange effect on you.

My morning and early afternoon consisted of taking a little boy to a birthday party. All of us played outside in the wonderful brisk fall air, opened birthday presents and had delicious Super Hero birthday cake *YUM*. By the time we got back to his house his mom was there with McDonalds for all of us. I ended up hanging out for a little while talking to the mom and playing outside in the sandbox. I left there and went to a friends house where I decided to be Audrey Hepburn at our church's fall festival this coming Tuesday. I am excited I have a beautiful dress that I was able to borrow and I think my friend has gloves and sunglasses for me to borrow as well! Tonight I was able to babysit for another family; who has a little girl, 3 and a little boy, 2. Their neighbor was having a pumpkin carving party and I was lucky enough to take the kiddos. We carved their pumpkin, had scrumptious snacks and played tag with another little boy!

I am not sure why playing with kids all day made me so happy but it did. God blew me away today with an abundance of love and grace. Children have such a freedom about them and they make you want to be free and fully abandoned. I was reminded of all the blessings I have in my life and all of the things I hope to one day have. 

Thank You Father for all You have given me and the dreams You have placed inside of me!

When things don't go as planned...

Some of you may know that I am a compulsive planner and that my life has been mapped out for a number of years. I thought for years and I do mean years that I was going to be a well known physician that went around the world offering free medical services. Now I am not even in college which has been extremely difficult for me. I have no doubt that I am doing exactly what it is the Father has called me to do but it is still almost like a loss. I feel as though I have lost part of who I am when the dream of being a doctor was put to bed. Sure, maybe one day I will be in the medical field but I don't know. I want to be completely alright with where I am at but it is not the easiest thing for me. I never thought I would be where I am.

On a happier note I do know a few things that I once was clueless about. God has been revealing to me my future a little bit at a time. There are things He has called me to do that I would have never pictured myself doing. At times it almost makes me nervous. The thought of doing the things I have been dreaming about the last few months makes me sick to my stomach. The Father has placed some really big dreams in my heart. Dreams of seeing people saved, changed radically and set on fire for Jesus Christ! Even though I think at times God has spoken to the wrong girl I know that I know I can do it in the Name of Jesus. We were called to do bigger and better things in this world and I want to be a part of it. I want to be a world changer, planet shaker, God lover! I pray that I am not completely off base in what I believe I have heard. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.